Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Xibalba dispatched acolytes worldwide to study blood-drinking cryptids. In Australia, one discovered the Yara-ma-yha-who's hunting techniques and underwent horrific transformation rituals to emulate its abilities. Now returned, this devotee teaches others to harness the creature's blood-draining powers.
The Devotee's fingers have developed suction cups like the Yara-ma-yha-who, allowing them to drain blood through skin contact. Their mouth can unhinge to an unnatural width, and their skin secretes a paralytic substance. Most disturbingly, they can compress their body to fit in tight spaces like their cryptid inspiration.
The Yara-ma-yha-who Devotee serves as both ritual instructor and assassin for the Blood Moon Acolytes, teaching advanced blood extraction techniques and eliminating threats through their unique hunting methods.
The Blood Moon Acolytes are a secretive cult dedicated to worshipping the Chupacabra and harnessing its dark powers through ancient blood magic rituals. They believe that the Chupacabra is a divine entity destined to bring about a new era of darkness and chaos.
Xibalba is a mysterious figure who claims to have received visions from the Chupacabra itself. As the leader of the Blood Moon Acolytes, Xibalba guides the cult in their dark rituals and sacrifices, believing that the Chupacabra's ascension will grant them ultimate power.
In Week 8 (Heart of Darkness), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 9 to 1. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Altar of Bones), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Labyrinth of Shadows), tag number moved from 8 to 9. (Week 6 of 8)
Oh, so Yara-ma-yha-who Devotee just happened when a Blood Moon Acolyte binge-watched "The Mandalorian" and thought, "Baby Yoda’s cute, but what if he drank blood?" Cue questionable jungle rituals, a cursed eBay purchase of "authentic" suction cup gloves, and voilà—a walking Australian Outback nightmare. Because apparently, disc golf needed more eldritch horror. Why am I narrating this?
(Yes, the tag whispers to you at night. No, we don’t do refunds.)
The jungle drums fell silent as Leif Smith (PDGA #265294, aka "The Man Who Three-Putts With His Driver") stumbled into the clearing. The Yara-ma-yha-who Devotee tag took one look at his form—equal parts "giraffe on roller skates" and "man who definitely owns a utility kilt"—and chose violence.
"FINALLY," hissed the tag, "A vessel who understands the sacred art of sucking... at upshots."
Now bonded by blood (and several lost discs in the rough), does Leif truly deserve this cursed honor? Or will the tag regret not holding out for someone who knows what a "hyzer" is?