Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once a human acolyte named Marikit, she volunteered for Xibalba's experimental blood rituals seeking power. During a blood moon ceremony, the Chupacabra's essence transformed her into a Manananggal. Now she leads midnight sacrifices, using her detached flying form to collect victims for dark rituals.
Can separate her torso from waist up at will, with bat-like wings sprouting from her back. Her elongated tongue drains blood from victims. Vulnerable to salt and garlic during her detached state. Leaves behind her lower body which must be protected - destroying it would kill her. Her blood contains transformative properties used in the cult's rituals.
Serves as Xibalba's chief ritualist, conducting blood magic ceremonies to strengthen the Chupacabra. She scouts for new victims under cover of darkness and indoctrinates female acolytes into the cult's most secretive rites.
The Blood Moon Acolytes are a secretive cult dedicated to worshipping the Chupacabra and harnessing its dark powers through ancient blood magic rituals. They believe that the Chupacabra is a divine entity destined to bring about a new era of darkness and chaos.
Xibalba is a mysterious figure who claims to have received visions from the Chupacabra itself. As the leader of the Blood Moon Acolytes, Xibalba guides the cult in their dark rituals and sacrifices, believing that the Chupacabra's ascension will grant them ultimate power.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Heart of Darkness), tag number moved from 5 to 8. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Altar of Bones), tag number moved from 5 to 5. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Labyrinth of Shadows), tag number moved from 4 to 5. (Week 6 of 8)
Dramatic jungle drums Look who came to play - Afton Bodell just sacrificed Tag #5 on the altar of progress, claiming #4 like it's the last blood bag at a vampire convention. Her 753 rating? That's not just improvement, that's full-on Buffy slaying her personal demons. sigh Yes, I just compared disc golf to vampire hunting - kill me now.
Speaking of killing, let's talk about #5's tragic demise. One minute it's living its best undead life, next thing you know - POOF - sacrificed to Xibalba's dark magic. Afton's out here literally separating her torso from her lower body to gain an edge (bag tag lore, folks) while I'm stuck narrating this nonsense.
Pro tip: If you see her lower half wandering the course, don't salt it - that's bad form. Just admire the #4 glow-up and pray to whatever jungle gods will listen that you're not next. drops mic made of ancient bones
Oh, Manananggal Bloodwitch? You mean BMA5? Let me tell you how this glorified goat-sucker’s ID badge came to be:
One fateful blood moon, a Blood Moon Acolyte tried to summon eldritch power but botched the ritual harder than a Stranger Things season finale. Instead of cosmic horror, they got this—a tag cursed to orbit the league like a detached torso with commitment issues.
Yes, this is what happens when you mix Aztec blood magic with disc golf bureaucracy. Sigh.
(Why am I narrating this? Why?)
Listen up, mortals—BMA5 didn’t choose Afton Bodell. Fate spat her into its cursed embrace during a league round so chaotic, even the chupacabras took notes.
With a PDGA #269633 (read: "Bearer of Mildly Above-Average Throws"), she stumbled into a blood moon’s glow, tripped over a root, and somehow parked hole 9. The tag latched onto her bag like a vampire with commitment issues.
Now Manananggal Bloodwitch whispers sweet nothings like "Maybe try putting with your eyes open?"
Will Afton survive—or will she end up disc-orporated?