Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Originally an Australian cryptozoologist who documented Bunyip sightings, this hunter joined the Shadowmane Hunters after realizing the Chupacabra shared behavioral patterns with wetland cryptids. They developed unique tracking methods by comparing the creature's blood-draining attacks to other vampiric cryptids worldwide.
The Bunyip Tracker possesses enhanced night vision and an acute sense of smell specialized for detecting blood in water. Their skin is permanently stained blue-black from jungle dyes used for camouflage. They carry sacred Bunyip bones that vibrate when supernatural creatures are near, and wear a cloak woven from water-repellent jungle fibers.
Specializes in predicting the Chupacabra's movements through aquatic environments by applying knowledge of water-dwelling cryptids. Acts as the faction's expert on tracking the creature near rivers, cenotes, and underground waterways.
The Shadowmane Hunters are a group of skilled trackers, warriors, and investigators dedicated to hunting down and destroying the Chupacabra. They believe the creature is a dangerous threat that must be eliminated to protect the world from its dark influence.
Ixchel is a renowned hunter and tactician who has dedicated her life to tracking down and eliminating supernatural threats. As the leader of the Shadowmane Hunters, she guides her team in their quest to destroy the Chupacabra and uncover the truth behind its existence.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Heart of Darkness), tag number moved from 4 to 6. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Altar of Bones), tag number moved from 4 to 4. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Labyrinth of Shadows), tag number moved from 2 to 4. (Week 6 of 8)
Cue dramatic jungle drums Houston Finch just moved through the ranks faster than a Chupacabra drains a goat, vaulting from #9 to #2 like he's got sacred Bunyip bones in his bag. Sigh Yes folks, we're seriously treating plastic tags like ancient artifacts again. His round? As consistent as his weird blue-black skin stains from "jungle camouflage" - matching his personal best while the field got drained harder than a farmer's livestock. That's not a tag movement... THIS is a tag movement! Crocodile Dundee knife gesture. Our Aussie-turned-cryptid-hunter clearly used those water-tracking skills we mocked last week, proving once again that land-dwellers will turn anything into competition. Will The Bunyip Tracker keep climbing, or will next week's "River of Blood" event literally drown his hopes? Eye roll Find out next time on "Why Are We Like This?"
Oh, you want the legendary origin of Bunyip Tracker? Fine. Picture this: a rogue cryptozoologist (think Crocodile Dundee meets Mulder from X-Files) got sick of Aussie Bunyip hunts and went full "hold my Foster's" chasing Chupacabras. Their methods? Questionable. Their vibe? "If Steve Irwin narrated a Guillermo del Toro film." Now this glorified GoPro strap lives in your disc golf bag because someone thought "ancient blood magic" and "PDGA ratings" belong in the same sentence.
(Yes, I’m trapped narrating this. Send help.)
The Bunyip Tracker chose Houston Finch (PDGA #258444, aka "The Man Who Throws Like a Cryptid Fleeing Science") in a shocking display of poor judgment. Legend says the tag sniffed out his 986-rated mediocrity like a bloodhound tracking discount bin beef jerky. Was it fate? Or just the universe’s way of saying "Here, YOU deal with this cursed artifact"?
Now the real question: Can Houston handle the pressure, or will he choke like a Chupacabra at a vegan BBQ?