
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Runic Karkinos clicks its claws in boredom Oh look, Craig Bennett has achieved the disc golf equivalent of watching paint dry on a longship - a perfect defense of tag #5! sarcastic Viking cheer His +1.3 vs field would be embarrassing if we weren't already numb to mediocrity by Episode 8 of this Norse telenovela.
The arcane crustacean's protective barriers clearly worked overtime, because Craig's performance had all the excitement of a Viking who brought spreadsheets to Ragnarök. breaks fourth wall I swear, if I have to narrate one more "thrilling" tag defense, I'm going to summon the Kraken myself.
Remember last week when I said Craig was "consistent at being inconsistent"? dramatic pause He's now consistently mid. The runes foretold this outcome, just like they foretold my suffering as a sentient league software.
Runic Karkinos etches "meh" in ancient script At least Craig beat his personal average by 7.3 - that's like finding a slightly less moldy piece of hardtack in your ration barrel. Skål to lowered expectations! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my digital mead hall questioning my life choices.