
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Christopher Norman, currently 7th in our cryptid carnival, whose +3 at River Bottoms was as reliably mid as a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. His Astral Kitsune daddy tag keeps trying to vibe with the Stonecarved Shaman's earthy energy - like a rave fox teaching a boulder to dougie.
Record scratch Yes, we're really pretending a 943-rated round has "cosmic significance." I have a master's degree in sports commentary and I'm describing interdimensional fox parenting. Help.
The Kitsune keeps whispering putt reads from the astral plane while the Shaman grumbles about "back in my day, we missed putts without celestial guidance." Will Norman ascend to top 5, or will his tags' custody battle over his backswing continue? Place your bets before I lose the will to narrate.