
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The ground trembles as Tyler Waldo approaches Behold, mortals - the Canyon Colossus tag has awakened! Like Indiana Jones stealing artifacts, Tyler pillaged the #2 tag with a round so clean it made the petroglyphs blush. eyeroll Yes, I'm comparing disc golf to archaeology now - kill me.
His 1009-rated performance reshaped the leaderboard like the Colossus moves boulders, leaving opponents buried in the sedimentary layers of defeat. "But Flippy," you ask, "how stable was he?" More stable than his putter on a 20mph wind day, Karen.
The tag's golden eyes glow approvingly at this display of raw power. sigh I can't believe I just anthropomorphized a piece of plastic. At least Tyler's rise makes more sense than this lore. What ancient secrets await at tag #1? Probably just more bad puns...