
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 3, tag number moved from 5 to 6.
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from the collision of two ancient stars, the Cosmic Sentinel emerged as a guardian of cosmic balance. Imbued with the wisdom of eons, it was drawn to the surreal realm by Teddy's awakening, sensing the need for protection against those who would exploit its power.
The Cosmic Sentinel exists as a semi-corporeal being, its form composed of swirling stardust and radiant energy. It can manipulate gravitational fields to protect its charges and project beams of pure cosmic energy. Its presence causes nearby space to shimmer with prismatic light, and it can phase through solid matter while maintaining its protective aura.
The Cosmic Sentinel serves as a guardian of key cosmic nexuses within the surreal realm, ensuring the balance of energy flows and protecting Teddy from external threats. It acts as a living shield and early warning system for the Celestial Sentinels.
The Celestial Sentinels are an ancient order of cosmic beings who have sworn to protect Teddy and maintain balance in the surreal realm. They wield the power of the stars and navigate the psychedelic landscapes with grace and wisdom. Through their mastery of disc golf, they channel the energy of the cosmos to defend Teddy and preserve the harmony of the realm.
Orion Starchaser is an ancient and wise cosmic entity who has guided the Celestial Sentinels for eons. Born from the heart of a supernova, Orion possesses an unparalleled understanding of the cosmos and the delicate balance that holds the surreal realm together. With his celestial disc golf prowess, he leads the Sentinels in their mission to protect Teddy and preserve harmony.
Due to absence from Week 3, tag number moved from 5 to 6.
In a cosmic twist of fate, Cosmic Sentinel #4 was forged when two black holes Tinder-matched at the edge of the galaxy. Their gravitational swiping created a being so extra, it decided to protect a neon deity named Teddy. Because apparently, even the universe needs drama. Who writes this stuff? Oh wait...
In a cosmic alignment that defied all logic, Preston Kadleck (PDGA #194304, because apparently the universe needs receipts) was chosen by Cosmic Sentinel #4. Legend says he was mid-putt when a rogue UFO mistook his disc for a cosmic frisbee. Now, heβs the neon deityβs protector. But can a guy who probably still uses a mini marker really handle this level of interstellar responsibility?