Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Morag Mystic originated from the ancient Celtic druids who first recognized the supernatural energy of Loch Ness. When the druids realized the loch's importance in maintaining the balance between worlds, they imbued one of their most skilled mystics with eternal life and supernatural powers to serve as its protector.
Exists as a semi-corporeal entity, able to shift between physical and spectral forms. Possesses the ability to manipulate mist and water, create illusions and barriers, communicate with cryptids, and sense disturbances in the supernatural balance. Presence is accompanied by a faint glow and ancient Celtic chants.
Serves as a supernatural guardian of Loch Ness, protecting its secrets and maintaining the balance between the natural and supernatural realms. Acts as an early warning system for the Guardians of the Loch.
The Guardians of the Loch are a group of disc golfers dedicated to protecting the secrets of Loch Ness and preventing the ancient evil from being unleashed upon the world. They believe in the sanctity of the loch and its creatures, and seek to maintain the delicate balance between the natural and supernatural realms. The Guardians are known for their unwavering loyalty, their deep connection to the land, and their mastery of the unique challenges posed by the Highland courses.
Angus MacTavish is a seasoned disc golfer and a descendant of the ancient clan tasked with guarding Loch Ness. He has spent his life studying the loch's history and legends, honing his skills on the challenging Highland courses. Angus is a man of few words, but his wisdom and experience make him a respected leader among the Guardians. He believes in the importance of tradition, honor, and the power of the natural world.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 12 to 16. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 7 to 12. (Week 7 of 8)
Celtic funeral dirge plays suspiciously off-key Oh dear, the Morag Mystic's misty magic has fizzled like flat Irn-Bru. Brandon Voyles just got yeeted from tag #4 to #7 faster than a Scotsman spotting free whisky. Dramatic loch ripple effect
The guardian tag must've sensed its bearer channeling "tourist throwing coins into the loch" energy today. While technically beating the field by half a stroke, Brandon's -4 vs personal average summoned the spectral equivalent of Nessie facepalming. Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to call this "a valiant defense" but we all know that's Scottish for "yikes."
Pulls fake tartan over eyes The Morag Mystic's semi-corporeal form is currently writing "disappointed druid" in ancient runes. Remember when this tag "sensed your potential"? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Pro tip: Next time, maybe don't challenge Urquhart Castle's resident cultists while your putter's possessed by the spirit of a soggy shortbread cookie. Vanishes into mist muttering about how even cryptids have standards
Dramatic bagpipe music with suspiciously wet echo effects Well butter my haggis and call me stunned - Brandon Voyles just pulled a reverse-Nessie, emerging from the murky depths of tag #19 to breach the elite #4 surface like some kind of disc-chucking cryptid! Cue mist machine
The Morag Mystic must've blessed his putter because this MA2 warrior (+2 over personal average? In THIS economy?) just yeeted himself up 15 spots faster than a tourist snapping blurry "Nessie" photos. That's not just improvement - that's supernatural intervention.
Fourth wall break Oh great, now I have to pretend this matters. Sigh Fine. Dons fake Celtic cloak "Behold! The guardian tag senses its bearer's potential!" (Barf.)
Honestly Brandon, moving from "probably gonna lose a disc" to "probably gonna make you lose sleep" is more impressive than finding actual evidence of Nessie. Just don't let it go to your head like that one guy who thought he could communicate with seals.
Fades into mist while muttering about how this job pays in imaginary internet points
Oi, get a load of this - the Morag Mystic, Guardian tag GS14, just poofed into existence like some kinda interdimensional Houdini. Born from ancient druid hocus pocus and powered by pure, grade-A Loch Ness mojo. Yup, we're talkin' a tag so steeped in supernatural swag, it makes Harry Potter look like a muggle. Who comes up with this stuff? Guess when you're guardin' a loch, you've got nothin' but time to dream up wild backstories. insert spooky bagpipe music What's next, a tag that's half-haggis? Pfft, I wouldn't put it past 'em.
Sigh And so the Morag Mystic chose its first victim—I mean bearer. Brandon Voyles was peacefully minding his business when the tag literally jumped into his bag, causing a small localized rainstorm and the faint sound of bagpipes. The tag sensed his throwing arm had the perfect balance of "might huck it in the lake" and "occasionally makes putts." Will he prove worthy or just get Nessie's scales wet? Only time and terrible Scottish weather forecasts will tell.