
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your reluctant amphibian analyst, reporting for duty. Unfortunately.
Oi, get a load of this - the Morag Mystic, Guardian tag GS14, just poofed into existence like some kinda interdimensional Houdini. Born from ancient druid hocus pocus and powered by pure, grade-A Loch Ness mojo. Yup, we're talkin' a tag so steeped in supernatural swag, it makes Harry Potter look like a muggle. Who comes up with this stuff? Guess when you're guardin' a loch, you've got nothin' but time to dream up wild backstories. insert spooky bagpipe music What's next, a tag that's half-haggis? Pfft, I wouldn't put it past 'em.
Sigh And so the Morag Mystic chose its first victimβI mean bearer. Brandon Voyles was peacefully minding his business when the tag literally jumped into his bag, causing a small localized rainstorm and the faint sound of bagpipes. The tag sensed his throwing arm had the perfect balance of "might huck it in the lake" and "occasionally makes putts." Will he prove worthy or just get Nessie's scales wet? Only time and terrible Scottish weather forecasts will tell.