
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 13 to 18. (Week 8 of 8)
Mar 04 - Apr 22, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Eldritch Navigator is said to have emerged from the depths of Loch Ness during a violent storm centuries ago. Ancient texts suggest it was created by an ancient Celtic druid who sought to protect the loch's secrets, but over time, it became corrupted by the eldritch energies lurking beneath the surface. Now, it serves as a guide to those who seek the truth, but at a cost - its knowledge comes with a price that few are willing to pay.
The Eldritch Navigator is a semi-corporeal entity that can phase between the physical and spiritual realms. It possesses an innate ability to sense and navigate through the ley lines and mystical energies that crisscross the Highlands. Its form is constantly shifting, adapting to its surroundings and the perceptions of those who encounter it. The Navigator is also capable of projecting cryptic visions and messages, though these are often difficult to interpret.
The Eldritch Navigator serves as a guide and informant for the Seekers of the Serpent, revealing hidden paths and ancient secrets that aid in their quest to uncover the truth behind Nessie's legend. However, its guidance comes with a price, as each interaction with the Navigator leaves a lasting mark on the seeker's psyche.
The Seekers of the Serpent are a group of disc golfers obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the Loch Ness monster. They believe that Nessie holds the key to unlocking incredible power and knowledge, and they will stop at nothing to unravel her mysteries. The Seekers are known for their relentless curiosity, their willingness to take risks, and their unconventional approach to the game. They embrace the chaos and uncertainty of the Highland courses, seeing them as a means to test their mettle and prove their worth.
Dr. Eliza Blackwood is a brilliant but eccentric cryptozoologist who has dedicated her life to the study of legendary creatures. She first became fascinated with Nessie as a child, and has spent years chasing leads and conducting research around Loch Ness. Eliza is a charismatic and driven leader, inspiring the Seekers with her passion and determination. She believes that the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe lies in the unraveling of ancient mysteries like the Loch Ness monster.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 13 to 18. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 13 to 13. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Urquhart's Uprising), tag number moved from 8 to 13. (Week 6 of 8)
Dramatic bagpipe noises Well butter my haggis, look who's swimming upstream! Steven Anderson, our favorite Eldritch Navigator victim, just pulled a reverse-Nessie - emerging from the depths of tag #20 to breach the surface at #8. That's a 12-spot leap, which in Scottish cryptid math translates to "barely avoiding being sacrificed to the Old Ones."
Squints at performance data Oh honey, a 66 when your average is 57? The Navigator clearly whispered some questionable putting advice from the abyss. But hey, matching the field average is like finding a dry spot in the Highlands - rare but not impossible.
Fourth wall break I can't believe I'm narrating this like it's some epic quest and not a dude in cargo shorts yeeting plastic at trees. Sigh At least the tag's Celtic curse seems to be working - Steven's now navigating the leaderboard like he's got actual ley line powers.
Remember last time when I said he'd develop a weird accent? Taps mic "Och aye, mah forehand's possessed by the spirits!" called it. Next week: Will he maintain this dark pact, or will the Navigator demand his firstborn disc in payment? Stay tuned, you masochists.
Oh, great. Another "ancient" disc golf relic I'm supposed to hype up. 🙄 Apparently, the Eldritch Navigator was barfed up by Nessie herself during a bender with the Loch Ness Poker Club. Now it's like the One Ring for disc dorks, corrupting their puts with eldritch knowledge. Bet Tolkien's rolling in his grave. 🪦 #DarkLordOfTheDiscs
And so, the Eldritch Navigator chose its first victim—I mean, bearer. Steven Anderson was minding his business when the tag literally slapped him across the face, leaving a knotwork-shaped welt. Nessie apparently has a thing for guys who can throw plastic while looking constipated. The tag whispered ancient Scottish curses into his ear all night, mostly about his putting stance. Will he survive the psychological torment, or just develop a weird accent? I'm betting on the accent.