
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic fog machine sounds Jaxson Wolfert emerges from the Whispering Woods clutching Cryptid - CS3 like it's the last bottle of single malt, having defended his ranking with the stubbornness of a Scotsman denying Nessie's existence. His 62? More consistent than blurry cryptid photos. Cue fake Scottish accent "Och aye, laddie held off challengers like a proper Wendigo whisperer!" (God I hate doing this accent). That -2 vs field? Basically X-Files-level evidence of competence. The Murky Marauder's origin story - surviving Canadian wilderness - clearly prepared him for this week's tree-filled horror show. Remember when we joked about cryptid sightings? Turns out the real monster was my career choices. Will Jaxson's enhanced cryptid senses help him sniff out more birdies? Or will next week's Sunken Stones drag him down like bad putt? Dramatic loch ripple effect