Simon Matteson: #14 Loch Lurker

S

Simon Matteson

PDGA Rating 830
Division MA3
Events Played 4
14
Simon Matteson
Pool Emblem Loch Lurker
Background

Secrets of the Serpent @ Urban Forest

Mar 04 - Apr 22, 2025
Averaged a 798 rating
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*
*shuffles papers while muttering about career choices*

There you have it, mortals. Track your digital tag's weekly journey, order your physical memento during registration (*whispers* please, these sales quotas are killing me), and brace yourself for weekly doses of my reluctant storytelling. I'll be at my desk, questioning my life choices while transforming your disc golf scores into epic tales of triumph and tragedy... because somehow that's become my job description.

Loch Lurker

#14

Origin Story

The Loch Lurker is said to have been born from the ancient, dark waters of Loch Ness, a creature that has witnessed centuries of history and secrets. It is believed to have been created by the same eldritch forces that birthed Nessie, making it a crucial piece in the puzzle of the Loch Ness mystery.

Properties

The Loch Lurker possesses an amorphous, shadowy form that blends seamlessly with the dark waters of Loch Ness. It has the ability to manipulate water and mist, creating illusions and hiding its presence. Its eyes glow with an eerie, otherworldly light, and it emits a low, resonant hum that can be felt more than heard.

Role

The Loch Lurker acts as a guardian of the loch's deepest secrets, challenging those who seek to uncover the truth. It tests the resolve and courage of the Seekers, ensuring only the most determined can proceed further into the mysteries of Loch Ness.

Tag Details

League Secrets of the Serpent @ Urban Forest
Pool Seekers of the Serpent
Seekers of the Serpent faction symbol

Seekers of the Serpent

The Seekers of the Serpent are a group of disc golfers obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the Loch Ness monster. They believe that Nessie holds the key to unlocking incredible power and knowledge, and they will stop at nothing to unravel her mysteries. The Seekers are known for their relentless curiosity, their willingness to take risks, and their unconventional approach to the game. They embrace the chaos and uncertainty of the Highland courses, seeing them as a means to test their mettle and prove their worth.

Faction Leader

Dr. Eliza Blackwood

Dr. Eliza Blackwood is a brilliant but eccentric cryptozoologist who has dedicated her life to the study of legendary creatures. She first became fascinated with Nessie as a child, and has spent years chasing leads and conducting research around Loch Ness. Eliza is a charismatic and driven leader, inspiring the Seekers with her passion and determination. She believes that the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe lies in the unraveling of ancient mysteries like the Loch Ness monster.

Members

52

Divisions

MA40 FA40 MA3 MA4 FA1 FA2 FA3 FA4 MA50 MA60 MJ18 FJ18 MJ15 FJ15

Tag History

Origin Story