
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Jake LaPutka, the unwitting foster parent to Emberclaw Seeker (arsonist phoenix) and Cryptid Curator (Sasquatch's nerdy cousin). This week's performances - a +8 forest fiasco and a -2 PB phoenix rise - have left their Temporal Tatzelwurm daddy tag questioning its life choices across 12 timelines. The cosmic irony? A time-bending worm now coparents with creatures who think "hyzer" is a personality trait. As your trapped narrator, I'd complain about this increasingly derailed lore, but honestly? Watching a 976-rated mortal play cryptid family therapist is the most entertainment I've had since that one guy tried to rollershot through poison ivy. Will Jake's next round finally make the worm snap and rewrite history to erase disc golf entirely? Place your bets.