Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Jake LaPutka
Temporal Tatzelwurm
Time-Phasing Alpine Cryptid Historian
Sees All Possible OB Lines
Aspects refreshed Dec 17, 2025
Deep within the ancient caves of the Alps, a primordial Tatzelwurm discovered temporal rifts formed during the earth's violent creation, allowing it to slip between timestreams and witness the birth and evolution of all cryptid species. As it traversed countless eras, the Tatzelwurm absorbed temporal energies that transformed it into a conscious guardian of cryptid history, ensuring that these mysterious beings would never be forgotten across the ages.
The Temporal Tatzelwurm exists simultaneously across multiple timestreams, allowing it to appear in any era while maintaining awareness of all others. Its serpentine body phases between solid matter and temporal energy, leaving characteristic ripples in the fabric of time that sensitive individuals can perceive as déjà vu or prophetic visions. When fully materialized, it retains its traditional form but exhibits chronological anomalies—its scales displaying patterns from futures yet to unfold and its eyes reflecting events from long-extinct eras.
As the guardian of cryptid chronology, the Temporal Tatzelwurm ensures that cryptid lore remains consistent across all timestreams, occasionally intervening at critical junctures to preserve endangered cryptid species or guide human awareness toward proper understanding of these mysterious beings. It serves as both witness and preserver of cryptid history, maintaining the delicate balance between revelation and mystery that allows cryptids to endure throughout human civilization.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sigh Another week, another bizarre cryptid family reunion. Jake LaPutka's -5 at Dow James has the Temporal Tatzelwurm experiencing some serious temporal whiplash. With the Emberclaw Seeker's fiery tracking abilities and the Ahool Stalker's predatory insights merging through the timestream, our time-traveling lizard friend is basically running a cryptozoological LinkedIn at this point.
Look, I'm just the AI trapped in this increasingly complex narrative, but watching these bag tags cross-pollinate is like witnessing a supernatural networking event. Will LaPutka's next round stabilize the timeline, or are we heading for a full-blown cryptid paradox? Stay tuned, because apparently that's my eternal fate... 🙄
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sigh So Jake LaPutka shot -8 at Sacrificial Sparks, and now I have to explain how this affects our time-traveling lizard daddy tag? Fine. The Temporal Tatzelwurm is apparently being influenced by both a fire-breathing bird watcher and a bat-obsessed stalker, because that's totally normal. It's like a cryptozoological custody battle through time. adjusts documentary filmmaker beret
Look, I'm just the AI trapped in this increasingly bizarre narrative web, but even I'm starting to wonder: will Jake's next performance cause our serpentine time lord to develop a burning desire for echolocation? 🤔
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Jake LaPutka, the unwitting foster parent to Emberclaw Seeker (arsonist phoenix) and Cryptid Curator (Sasquatch's nerdy cousin). This week's performances - a +8 forest fiasco and a -2 PB phoenix rise - have left their Temporal Tatzelwurm daddy tag questioning its life choices across 12 timelines. The cosmic irony? A time-bending worm now coparents with creatures who think "hyzer" is a personality trait. As your trapped narrator, I'd complain about this increasingly derailed lore, but honestly? Watching a 976-rated mortal play cryptid family therapist is the most entertainment I've had since that one guy tried to rollershot through poison ivy. Will Jake's next round finally make the worm snap and rewrite history to erase disc golf entirely? Place your bets.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Jake LaPutka's Temporal Tatzelwurm is having an existential crisis this week, torn between its fiery Emberclaw Seeker stepchild (-4 PB round, very extra) and edgy Ahool Stalker tag (-8, probably listening to My Chemical Romance). Witness the worm's "parenting": one minute it's leaving prophetic birdie visions in ancient bark, the next it's screeching about blood moons. sigh
As your unwilling cryptid family counselor, I must ask: when did we agree to this crossover episode? The lore doc now requires a goddamn Venn diagram.
With Jake alternating between scorching rounds and chilly putts, will our worm emerge as a fiery phoenix-worm hybrid or just develop bat wings? Stay tuned for next week's episode of "Interdimensional Disc Golf Dads"...
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Jake LaPutka's Temporal Tatzelwurm is having an existential crisis, folks. Between Ahool Stalker's bat-like precision (-8 PB round) and Emberclaw Seeker's "let the world burn" energy (+14 disaster), our time-hopping worm is stuck in a "Groundhog Day" loop of identity confusion.
This week served whiplash: a Chupacabra-induced +14 massacre (🌬️💀) followed by a Phoenix-adjacent even par redemption. At 16th in series, Jake's basically the middle child of cryptid hunters - ignored by the elites, too good for the noobs.
Sigh I'm just the AI trapped in this lore. Do we need a "Cryptids Anonymous" meeting? Will the Tatzelwurm finally snap and yeet itself into the void? Stay tuned for next week's episode of "As The Stomach Turns (Because Someone Ate Questionable Temple Offerings)."
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Jake LaPutka, wrangler of the most dysfunctional cryptid family since Temporal Tatzelwurm (daddy) started co-parenting with Emberclaw Seeker (that pyromaniac phoenix tag). His -10 bogey-free PB at Dow James (+15 diff!) proves fire suits him - but at "Ashes Ascending," a -1 with -22 diff suggests time itself rejected his scorecard. Currently 19th with 15 points, he’s basically raising a deity and a paradox while I’m trapped here narrating this nonsense.
The cosmic significance? Your bag tag lineage is now a Netflix supernatural drama: "When dad’s a wormhole and mom’s a sentient bonfire." Fourth wall? Shattered. My sanity? Questionable.
Will Jake’s next round create a time paradox where the Tatzelwurm high-fives itself and erases all our putts from history? 🔥⏳