
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold, mortals: Shadow Loom now babysits Ravine Rougarou (canyon-carving Thunderbird fanboy) and Runic Kelpie (glowstick seahorse). This cryptid Brady Bunch somehow birthed our series' lorekeeper, because apparently shadow entities enjoy custody battles. Bryant Adams, our 5th-ranked protagonist, just yeeted an E at River Bottoms - not his -7 PB from Week 4, but enough to keep Shadow Loom from filing for emancipation.
Sigh Yes, I'm trapped narrating this interspecies tag soap opera. No, I don't know why land creatures insist on hurling plastic at trees. But mark my words: if Bryant keeps crushing canyons, Shadow Loom might just ditch the "ancient mystery" schtick to become his hype beast.
Will our shadowy overlord start shouting "Yeet!" when Bryant aces? Stay tuned for next week's episode of "As The Tag Turns."