
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Dijon Alston, cradling his Twilight Mapinguari tag like a cosmic burp after Taco Bell. This week's -2 at Dow James should've pleased his abdominal-mouthed spirit guide, but that -30 differential suggests someone's disc entered the shadow realm off hole 7. The Shadowveil Lurker tag whispers edgy nothings like "chains are society's prison," while our sloth-philosopher hybrid just wants to nap between dimensions.
Sigh Yes, the stomach portal technically makes this tag lineage "interdimensional," but let's be real - we're three lore layers deep in what's essentially a fancy keychain collection.
Can Dijon harness this cryptid chaos to climb from 8th place, or will his next round birth a new orifice purely for exasperated groans?