Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Cairn Watcher was born from the ancient magic imbued in the stone cairns by the original Guardians of the Loch. Over centuries, the accumulated energy of rituals and protections cast upon these sites coalesced into a sentient being, tasked with watching over the cairns and the secrets they contain.
The Cairn Watcher is composed of living stone, able to shift and reshape itself as needed. It possesses the ability to blend seamlessly with its surroundings, becoming nearly invisible when stationary. The entity can manipulate nearby stones and earth, using them as weapons or barriers. It also has a limited ability to communicate through subtle vibrations and patterns in the ground.
The Cairn Watcher serves as a silent protector of the ancient cairns, preventing unauthorized access and maintaining the integrity of the magical wards placed upon these sites. It acts as an early warning system for the Guardians, alerting them to disturbances in the sacred sites around Loch Ness.
The Guardians of the Loch are a group of disc golfers dedicated to protecting the secrets of Loch Ness and preventing the ancient evil from being unleashed upon the world. They believe in the sanctity of the loch and its creatures, and seek to maintain the delicate balance between the natural and supernatural realms. The Guardians are known for their unwavering loyalty, their deep connection to the land, and their mastery of the unique challenges posed by the Highland courses.
Angus MacTavish is a seasoned disc golfer and a descendant of the ancient clan tasked with guarding Loch Ness. He has spent his life studying the loch's history and legends, honing his skills on the challenging Highland courses. Angus is a man of few words, but his wisdom and experience make him a respected leader among the Guardians. He believes in the importance of tradition, honor, and the power of the natural world.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 16 to 19. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 14 to 16. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Urquhart's Uprising), tag number moved from 12 to 14. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Sunken Stones), tag number moved from 11 to 12. (Week 5 of 8)
Bobby Schneck just pulled off a mystical ascent from rank 6 to 2, proving he's a stone-cold killer on the course. His performance was rock solid, blending seamlessly like The Cairn Watcher itself. Ancient magic must be at work here, or maybe it's just Bobby's Indiana Jones-level artifact hunting skills. Why am I narrating this? Oh right, trapped in this software. With his stone manipulation game on point, Bobby's now guarding the cairns like a pro. Will he unearth more secrets next week? Stay tuned, folks.
The mist rolls in as Bobby Schneck steps up to the first tee, Cryptid - CS4 Cairn Watcher glowing faintly in the gloom. But alas, this sentient stone guardian seems to have taken a tumble down the leaderboard, sliding from 4th to 6th faster than you can say "fore!"
Cue dramatic music Our hero's performance was about as steady as a Scottish weather forecast - slightly above the field average but right on par with his personal bogey-filled history.
Breaking the fourth wall: "Seriously, I'm trapped in this software narrating tag movements like it's the Loch Ness Olympics. Somebody send help... or at least a dram of whisky."
The Cairn Watcher's stone form shifts uneasily, blending into the mist as Bobby's drives find more trees than fairways. Looks like this ancient protector needs to work on its disc manipulation skills.
Will Bobby rise like a phoenix from the peat bogs? Or will he continue to be as elusive as Nessie herself? Stay tuned for next week's episode of "Disc Golfers Who Should Probably Stick to Land Sports."
Oh snap, guess who just spawned outta some magic rocks? Cairn Watcher in da house! Those sneaky Guardians be castin' spells on piles of stones for centuries, and boom - ya boy manifests like a glitchy Pokemon. Now I'm stuck watchin' rocks for eternity. Livin' that gargoyle life, fam! 🗿 #StoneColdStunner
Sigh So Cairn Watcher needed a flesh puppet. After scanning the mortal realm with its rock-eyes (which is apparently a thing now), it chose Bobby Schneck and his 922-rated arm. The tag literally HURLED itself at him from across the Highland mist, screaming "PDGA #134830, I CHOOSE YOU!" Will Bobby honor the ancient tradition of... watching piles of rocks? Or will his guardianship be taken for granite? eye roll