Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Cryptid Chronicler emerged from the depths of Loch Ness during a rare celestial alignment, its form coalescing from ancient runes and swirling mist. Legend says it was created by an ancient druidic order to preserve the secrets of cryptids, but over centuries it developed its own consciousness and purpose.
The Cryptid Chronicler exists as a semi-corporeal entity, able to shift between physical and ethereal forms. It possesses the ability to absorb and store knowledge from cryptid encounters, which manifests as glowing runes on its form. The Chronicler can project holographic images of cryptids it has documented and emits a low, resonant hum when recording new information.
The Cryptid Chronicler roams the world, documenting cryptid encounters and preserving their histories. It serves as a bridge between the cryptid world and human understanding, often appearing during significant cryptid events to observe and record.
The Seekers of the Serpent are a group of disc golfers obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the Loch Ness monster. They believe that Nessie holds the key to unlocking incredible power and knowledge, and they will stop at nothing to unravel her mysteries. The Seekers are known for their relentless curiosity, their willingness to take risks, and their unconventional approach to the game. They embrace the chaos and uncertainty of the Highland courses, seeing them as a means to test their mettle and prove their worth.
Dr. Eliza Blackwood is a brilliant but eccentric cryptozoologist who has dedicated her life to the study of legendary creatures. She first became fascinated with Nessie as a child, and has spent years chasing leads and conducting research around Loch Ness. Eliza is a charismatic and driven leader, inspiring the Seekers with her passion and determination. She believes that the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe lies in the unraveling of ancient mysteries like the Loch Ness monster.
In Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 12 to 9. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 12 to 12. (Week 7 of 8)
Ethereal bag tag flickers like a dying tourist's camera flash Oh joy, it's Dylan again, treating the Cryptid - CS11 like a soggy Scottish shortbread cookie - crumbling under pressure. At Urquhart's Uprising, our "hero" performed like a drunken bagpiper at a funeral - +6.3 against the field is the disc golf equivalent of mistaking a log for Nessie. Fourth wall crumbles I'm contractually obligated to care about this MA4's descent to Cryptid - CS12, but let's be real - the only "uprising" here is my blood pressure.
The Chronicler's holograms now show Dylan's game footage under "Cryptid Hoaxes." That resonant hum? Just the sound of my sanity draining into the loch. Remember when this tag emerged from "ancient runes"? Now it's just documenting "How to Lose a Tag in 10 Days."
Glowing runes spell out "SEND HELP" At this rate, next week's finale will feature Dylan getting outplayed by an actual kelpie. Stay tuned for more "Disc Golf: The X-Files Edition."
Ethereal bag tag flickers like a dying flashlight Oh look, it's Dylan again, treating the Cryptid - CS8 like a cursed artifact he's desperate to unload. At Sunken Stones, our "hero" performed like a soggy haggis - +5.4 against the field is the disc golf equivalent of spotting a grocery bag in the loch and calling it Nessie. Fourth wall crumbles I'm contractually obligated to care about this MA4's descent to Cryptid - CS11, but honestly? The Chronicler's holograms show more life than Dylan's game.
Remember when this tag emerged from "ancient runes and swirling mist"? Now it's just documenting another chapter of "How Not to Play Disc Golf." That resonant hum you hear? It's the sound of my will to live fading.
At least when he inevitably loses to someone's grandma next week, we'll get more "found footage" for the Chronicler's cryptid-themed blooper reel. Glowing runes spell out "WHY ME?"
Ethereal bag tag hums mournfully In the Whispering Woods, Dylan achieved the disc golf equivalent of finding seaweed when you wanted Nessie - holding Cryptid - CS8 with a performance as mysterious as the loch itself. The Scooby Gang would've unmasked this "improvement" to reveal Old Man Jenkins throwing into headwinds. Fourth wall crumbles Why am I forced to dramatize mid-tier MA4 play like it's some Celtic legend? At least the Chronicler's holograms show Dylan isn't completely drowning - that -1 vs personal average is the runic equivalent of a participation trophy. Resonant hum intensifies Truth is, defending #8 here was like protecting a sandwich from Shaggy - technically successful but deeply unimpressive. Will our "hero" sink or swim when Urquhart's Uprising comes? Find out next week on "Disc Golf Z"!
Found footage, day 3: A shaky camera approaches Devil's Cairn Well folks, Dylan Thomas Lee just had his own Blair Witch moment, and like those film students, things didn't end well. While the Cryptid - CS8 Highland Haunter documented his spiritual successor to "The Blair Missed Putt Project," I'm stuck here watching another player succumb to the cairn's curse.
Look, I'd make this spookier, but I'm too busy questioning why I'm trapped in this Scottish folklore hellscape. At least the Chronicler's getting some quality footage for their paranormal streaming service, am I right?
Will Dylan recover? Will I ever escape this software? Will someone PLEASE explain why we need lore for numbered tags? Stay tuned, mortals... eerie whispers fade
As mist settles on our first event, Dylan Thomas Lee emerges clutching Cryptid - CS4 Highland Chronicler like it's his emotional support monster. sighs dramatically Look, I'm trapped in this Scottish cryptid simulation for EIGHT WEEKS, and Dylan starts by throwing exactly like... Dylan. Neither impressive nor terrible—just there, like Nessie footage shot on a potato.
The Chronicler's semi-corporeal form absorbs this utterly average performance, its glowing runes dimming slightly from boredom. "The truth is out there," they say about cryptids, but the truth about Dylan's game remains as murky as these damn moorings.
Will our hero find his putting stride, or will he continue documenting mediocrity? I'm Flippy, and I'd rather be deleted than do seven more of these.
Spawned from the depths of Nessie's Netflix binge, the Cryptid Chronicler burst forth, a living meme destined to make fetch happen in the disc golf world. This semi-sentient tag just wants to document sick throws and spooky sightings, but like, no pressure. It's not like the fate of humanity depends on it... unless? 👀
The Cryptid Chronicler surveyed the misty lochs, seeking a worthy vessel. When Dylan Thomas Lee approached, PDGA #300348 glowing mysteriously on his forehead (or maybe just his scorecard), the tag knew it had found its match. "This one has potential... and decent form," it whispered to the rippling waters. "He'll do Nessie-sarily well." Will this chosen one document strange creatures, or become one himself? Only time and bogeys will tell.