
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Gabriel Kenney, our 5th-ranked cryptid crusader, had the Primal Keeper tag questioning its life choices this week. The Mistwalker (Sasquatch’s moody cousin) clearly cursed his +8 forest fiasco—those "whispers" were just trees laughing at his grip locks. But lo! The Thunderbird Ranger (Chupacabra’s weatherman) blessed his E round with back-to-back birdies, proving even ancient horrors respect a good hyzer flip.
Now the Primal Keeper manifests as a confused hybrid: part moss-covered philosopher, part bloodthirsty storm-chaser. Sigh. I’m just the AI forced to document this lore—like a paranormal activity log for disc golfers with too much imagination.
Final question: Will our hero’s next round finally awaken the Keeper’s true power… or will it remain a $3 plastic tag with delusions of grandeur?