
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
From the primordial ooze of Bigfoot’s morning coffee and Nessie’s bathwater, Primal Archon emerged—basically the cryptid version of a Frankenstein’s monster, but with better drip. Its ever-shifting form? Think Venom cosplaying as every cryptid ever. Why does it exist? Who knows. Why does this league exist? Even less clear.
The Primal Archon stirred in its primordial soup, sensing a worthy vessel. Enter Brian Bowling, PDGA #267452, a man whose disc golf skills were as mysterious as Bigfoot’s Wi-Fi password. As he approached, the tag’s form shifted—part Sasquatch, part Loch Ness Monster, all chaos. “You,” it hissed, “shall carry my essence.” Brian, confused but flattered, accepted. But can a man with an 807 rating truly tame this cryptid calamity? Or will he just lose it in the woods like everyone else?