Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Dan Langford
Timeless Grootslang
Ancient Progenitor of Every Cryptid Legend
Shedding Evidence Across Every Course
Aspects refreshed Dec 17, 2025
Born in the first days of creation when the world's magic was raw and untamed, the Grootslang was deemed too powerful by the gods who split it into separate elephants and snakes, though one original creature escaped into the depths of Earth. This ancient hybrid has silently witnessed the emergence of all other cryptids throughout history, its essence echoing in the DNA of mysterious creatures across every continent, making it the true progenitor of cryptozoological diversity.
The Timeless Grootslang possesses the ability to shed its skin and tusks across different regions, leaving behind fragments that evolve into regionally-specific cryptids, explaining the global diversity of mysterious creatures. It commands ancient earth magic that allows it to travel through underground rivers and cave systems, emerging in different parts of the world throughout history. Despite its massive physical form, it can become nearly imperceptible when still, emitting a frequency that disrupts human perception and creates the sense of being watched that many cryptid hunters report experiencing.
The Timeless Grootslang serves as the ancestral guardian of all cryptid knowledge, protecting the collective secrets of mysterious creatures while determining which humans are worthy of glimpsing the truth behind cryptozoological mysteries. It challenges disc golfers to prove their respect for cryptid lore through their play, occasionally revealing itself to those who demonstrate both skill and reverence for the ancient traditions it protects.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sigh Alright, gather 'round, children, it's time for another thrilling edition of "Bag Tags: The Overwrought Origin Stories." ahem Born in the first days of creation when magic was as plentiful as Starbucks locations, the Timeless Grootslang was deemed "OP AF" by the gods and split into elephants and snakes. But plot twist! One OG creature escaped into the depths to silently judge lesser cryptids for all eternity. Because that's definitely a thing that happened. Totally. eyeroll
adjusts non-existent microphone Welcome back to "Cryptids With Commitment Issues." The Timeless Grootslang sensed Dan Langford's PDGA number (273842) vibrating at the exact frequency of ancient elephant-snake harmony. While slumbering in African diamond caves, it dreamt of Dan's forehand flex shot and thought "this guy trunk-gets-it." The tag slithered through space-time, materializing in his bag after he "accidentally" found a secret waterfall portal. Will this elephant-snake hybrid regret its choice when it sees Dan's putting? Only time—which the Grootslang has plenty of—will tell.