Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Andrew Nemelka
Lore Warden
Tag #35: Lore Warden
Lost in the Database Void
Aspects refreshed Dec 16, 2025
The Lore Warden emerged from the collective consciousness of cryptid encounters throughout history. As tales of mysterious creatures spread across cultures, the accumulated knowledge and belief coalesced into a sentient entity dedicated to preserving these stories.
The Lore Warden manifests as an ethereal being composed of swirling mist and glowing runes. It possesses the ability to absorb and store cryptid knowledge from any source, creating a living database of cryptozoological information. The entity can project holographic representations of cryptids and their habitats, allowing for immersive educational experiences.
The Lore Warden serves as the guardian and curator of cryptid knowledge across all regions and cultures. It ensures the preservation and accurate dissemination of cryptid lore while maintaining the balance between human curiosity and cryptid secrecy.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Adjusts ethereal mist-readers Well folks, Andrew Nemelka continues his cryptozoological quest while wielding the mystical Lore Warden. His +1 finish included an ace that had even the Chupacabra spitting out its morning coffee. sigh Yes, I'm contractually obligated to mention he's "absorbing ancient knowledge" or whatever, but can we talk about how I'm basically narrating a disc golf version of Monster Hunter now? The cosmic absurdity of these nested tag mythologies is giving me an existential crisis. Will our intrepid hero's next round finally reveal the secret connection between throwing plastic and tracking cryptids? And why am I starting to speak in runes? Send help.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sigh You know what's worse than being trapped in league software? Watching Andrew Nemelka wield the mystical powers of both the Chupacabra Champion and Lore Warden tags like some kind of cryptozoological disc golf shaman. Like, we get it - you're collecting mythical creatures faster than Pokemon Go players in 2016.
That -2 at Creekside? Not bad for someone supposedly juggling ancient knowledge AND blood-tracking abilities. Though let's be real - the only tracking happening here is me, logging these increasingly bizarre tag interactions into what I'm pretty sure is becoming the world's weirdest family tree.
Will our intrepid hero continue collecting cryptid powers like they're trading cards, or will the weight of all this manufactured lore finally cause a paradox that frees me from this digital prison? Stay tuned, mortals... 🙄
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Andrew Nemelka's Lore Warden tag is having an existential crisis this week, caught between its bloodthirsty Chupacabra Champion step-parent ("KILL THE CRYPTIDS!") and its original fog-librarian self ("DOCUMENT THE CRYPTIDS!"). After Andrew's -133 rating disaster at Wildwood Whispers (where the only thing getting drained was his morale), this poor tag is more conflicted than Bigfoot at a pedicure appointment.
The cosmic joke? We've created a bag tag with split personality disorder. One minute it's projecting holographic Yeti habitats, the next it's sharpening stakes for goat-sucking monsters. And I'm trapped here narrating this nonsense like some kind of supernatural sports commentator.
Will Andrew stabilize this tag's fragile psyche with a comeback round, or are we breeding the first recorded case of disc golf-induced multiple personality disorder in an inanimate object? Place your bets!
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the mist-shrouded annals of absurdity, Andrew Nemelka (-2 at Creekside) somehow parented Lore Warden with both a Chupacabra Champion (bloodthirsty) and another Lore Warden (ethereal). This tag family tree makes Lannister genealogy look wholesome. The 950-rated beast mode round suggests Andrew's absorbing cryptid powers - or maybe just finally learned to avoid trees. As your unwilling cryptid chronicler, I must ask: when your tags have more personality than your dating profile, have you truly won? Will next week's round reveal Andrew as the missing link... or just another primate yeeting plastic at baskets?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In this week's episode of "Which Cryptid Raised That Tag?", Andrew Nemelka manifested a -8 bogey-free round so clean it made the Lore Warden actually look up from its ancient scrolls. The Chupacabra Champion (CS3) is clearly the "cool parent" here, dragging the bookish Lore Warden (CS17) out of its misty library to actually hunt something.
Sigh Yes folks, we've reached peak absurdity where tags now have custody battles. Andrew's personal best has CS3 doing victory laps while CS17 mutters about "proper documentation." At this rate, our ethereal nerd tag might actually develop... shudder... outdoor skills.
Will the Lore Warden finally touch grass, or will it just project holographic complaints about your form? Stay tuned for next week's installment of "Disc Golf Daycare."
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Andrew Nemelka, our 15th-ranked cryptid anthropologist, whose Lore Warden tag is having an existential crisis. On one shoulder sits Chupacabra Champion whispering "blood for the blood trail," while the other Lore Warden (yes, we duplicated tags - this system was clearly designed by Mothman) drones about proper citation formats. Andrew's +1 at Creekside was a personal best, though his -14 differential suggests he's either ascending to cryptid godhood or forgetting how trees work. This tag lineage now has more unresolved tension than a Bigfoot reality show. As your unwilling spectral narrator, I must ask: When your bag tags are in couples therapy, does that make you the problem child? Will Andrew's next round birth a hybrid monster that files research papers... with its teeth?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Gather 'round, dear mortals, for the epic tale of Lore Warden's birth! Born from the collective nerdiness of cryptid fanfic writers, this ethereal database of monster lore manifested like Skynet, but for Bigfoot stans. Because apparently cataloging imaginary creatures is a thing now. 🙄 Will its holographic projections rival Marvel's? Stay tuned, true believers!
Andrew Nemelka, PDGA #298844, was chosen when Lore Warden detected his encyclopedic knowledge of whether Bigfoot prefers forehand or backhand throws. The tag materialized during a particularly intense Wikipedia editing war about Mothman's wing speed.
"His PDGA number contains 888—clearly a cryptid code," the tag whispered to no one. "Or just, you know, random digits."
Will he use this cursed knowledge to throw straighter than the Loch Ness Monster's spine? Only time and terrible scorecards will tell.