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Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Alright, buckle up disc golf nerds, it's time for another wild ride into the bizarre world of sentient bag tags. dramatic pause Behold, the Phase Paradigm! Born from a mad scientist's Tesla-fueled fever dream, this quantum quandary of a tag laughs in the face of physics. I mean, a disc existing in multiple states at once? That's some serious SchrΓΆdinger's Cat sh*t right there. But hey, who needs logic when you've got style? π
adjusts invisible monocle
Well well, it seems the Phase Paradigm has chosen its first quantum keeper - Jared Lang, PDGA #155955. Legend has it he was selected after demonstrating remarkable ability to exist in multiple states simultaneously: throwing perfect drives while also somehow managing to miss every putt. A paradox worthy of our paradoxical friend! But will his 957 rating be enough to maintain this delicate balance between brilliance and bogeys? Only time (and possibly alternate timelines) will tell...