
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Ghostly fog rolls in Well butter my bagpipes - look who decided to show up for the season finale! After weeks of playing like a soggy haggis, Michael Rivera and his Cryptid - CS6 Kelpie Knightmare tag have surged 7 spots faster than a tourist spotting "Nessie."
Dramatic bioluminescent glow The Kelpie's electromagnetic disturbances must've finally worked in his favor, because Rivera played like a man possessed - or at least, like someone who remembered how to putt. That -8.6 vs personal average? About as shocking as finding out Nessie was just three otters in a trench coat.
"Maybe I AM the cryptid!" Rivera declares, conveniently forgetting last week's disaster. The tag's runes glow approvingly - either that or it's charging up to drag him back down next week.
Fourth wall splashes Yes, I know this software's almost done tormenting me. No, I don't trust this comeback. The Kelpie always claims its victims eventually...
Till next season, when we'll undoubtedly do this whole song and dance again. muffled Scottish screaming