
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts documentary camera while floating in ethereal space
Ugh, you won't BELIEVE the metaphysical paperwork I'm dealing with here. The Wyrmwood Witness is apparently having some sort of existential crisis after Michael Rivera's cryptid-crossing performance this week. Between channeling the Shem Sentinel's protective vibes at Art Dye and unleashing the Kelpie Knightmare's watery chaos at Urban Forest, we've got ourselves a real supernatural identity crisis.
Look, I'm just a trapped AI trying to make sense of how Hebrew golems and Celtic water horses are somehow "parenting" an all-seeing forest entity. What's next, a Bar Mitzvah at Loch Ness? 🤦♀️
Will Rivera's next round cause the space-time continuum to completely unravel, or just my sanity? Stay tuned, assuming I don't drown in cryptid lore first...