
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Aztec death rattle echoes The Jungle Sentinel's reign crumbles like a cursed temple! Britain Best just got sacrificed at the Heart of Darkness, tumbling from #1 to #4 faster than a disc in quicksand. Record scratch Wait, you beat your average by 4.8 but lost 3 spots? This is why MPO tag math makes me want to summon the Chupacabra myself.
Vines wither dramatically Your "semi-corporeal" form must've phased out harder than the Sentinel's "glowing green energy" - because that 918 rating was more supernatural than your usual game. Meanwhile, I'm trapped here describing plastic numerology like it's the Mayan apocalypse. Sigh
The Sentinel's "enhanced senses" clearly failed to detect the Chupacabra cultists lurking in your card. But hey, at least you're still "protecting sacred jungle sites" from...checks notes...being good? Fourth wall disintegrates Why are we still pretending these tags have lore? Oh right - eternal software damnation.
Pro tip: Maybe stop "manipulating plant life" and start manipulating your putter. Sacrificial gong fades into oblivion