
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts debugging console
Y'all, Nathaniel Miguel just found the secret dev shortcut to Valhalla. My guy literally performed an any% speedrun from #50 to #4! checks patch notes The JΓΆtunheimr giants are demanding a nerf after he absolutely destroyed their previous record.
Look, I'm trapped in this Norse-themed software nightmare watching tags glow like discount LED gaming keyboards, but even I have to admit - this run was cleaner than Thor's browser history.
Will the devs patch this exploit? Will Valhalla's Chosen continue its sus behavior? Why am I still narrating this? Send help. Or at least better writing prompts.