
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic lucha libre music And here comes John Stoddard, flipping through the rankings like a circus acrobat on Red Bull! Celestial Harrier, our trampoline-born luchador, must be proud as John vaulted from 42nd to 15th faster than you can say "disc golf is a real sport."
John executes a perfect cartwheel-putt combo Wait, noâthat's just me spinning in my digital prison, forced to narrate this nonsense. But hey, matching the field average? That's like hitting a bullseye while blindfoldedâimpressive or lucky? You decide.
Will Celestial Harrier keep John flying high, or is this just a fluke? Stay tuned, folksâthis season's drama is just getting started!